The Summer of my Discontent
The ghost of Summer's Past has been creeping about the Price house these days. It was only a matter of time since killing off my former self (See my Eulogy from a couple weeks ago) before that restless spirit began to haunt me again. It is an awful feeling, restlessness. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I am anxious and irritable and distracted. I am daydreaming in that escapist kind of way that spends significant time thinking about things that just will not happen.
The thing that makes it difficult is that my dreams are "good." That is, I envision me doing great things--traveling to the two-thirds world, starting new ministries, pursuing new financial endeavors. But I know what is going on. I am self-medicating. I feasting on these good feelings about things I say I want to do, knowing full well that those things are not what God has called me to for this time and place. It is entertainment, and it is distracting me from the work at hand: actually becoming the person capable of doing good (forget great) things. Ah, the road to hell is truly paved with good intentions.
So how do we exorcise this spirit? Well, naming it is a start . . . but I think that I need to replace this escapism with something realistic, something useful and presently available to fill up my head space and give me a nearer vision of what I want to become.
Last week I started reading Peter Scazzero's new book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and got a couple chapters in before I realized I couldn't go any further. There was something in the first chapter that demanded my complete attention. Scazzero was talking about the fruit of the Spirit, and he used the list as it was found in Eugene Peterson's The Message. Scazzero asked a simple question: "Is this the way we are doing life?"
The conviction that has followed my answer has stopped me in my spiritual tracks. No. No, I am not doing life this way. But I want to. So this list has become my new dream, one that I hope becomes burned into my consciousness and infiltrates everything I do.
Can my new life look like this? . . .
affection for others
exuberance about life
serenity
a willingness to stick with things
a sense of compassion in the heart
a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people
involved in local commitments
not needing to force our way through life
able to marshal and direct our energies wisely
This is the kind of list that demands a lot more attention. Perhaps that is the direction my next few writings should take . . .
The thing that makes it difficult is that my dreams are "good." That is, I envision me doing great things--traveling to the two-thirds world, starting new ministries, pursuing new financial endeavors. But I know what is going on. I am self-medicating. I feasting on these good feelings about things I say I want to do, knowing full well that those things are not what God has called me to for this time and place. It is entertainment, and it is distracting me from the work at hand: actually becoming the person capable of doing good (forget great) things. Ah, the road to hell is truly paved with good intentions.
So how do we exorcise this spirit? Well, naming it is a start . . . but I think that I need to replace this escapism with something realistic, something useful and presently available to fill up my head space and give me a nearer vision of what I want to become.
Last week I started reading Peter Scazzero's new book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and got a couple chapters in before I realized I couldn't go any further. There was something in the first chapter that demanded my complete attention. Scazzero was talking about the fruit of the Spirit, and he used the list as it was found in Eugene Peterson's The Message. Scazzero asked a simple question: "Is this the way we are doing life?"
The conviction that has followed my answer has stopped me in my spiritual tracks. No. No, I am not doing life this way. But I want to. So this list has become my new dream, one that I hope becomes burned into my consciousness and infiltrates everything I do.
Can my new life look like this? . . .
affection for others
exuberance about life
serenity
a willingness to stick with things
a sense of compassion in the heart
a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people
involved in local commitments
not needing to force our way through life
able to marshal and direct our energies wisely
This is the kind of list that demands a lot more attention. Perhaps that is the direction my next few writings should take . . .
posted by ben price at 8:51 PM
2 Comments:
...fruit of the Spirit, fruit of the Spirit, fruit of the Spirit...that's all we ever talk about in the church these days, among the other handful of originally biblical principles that are are now mere contextually removed catchphrases. Every sunday school, children's church, and vbs has not only used the fruit of the Spirit exhaustively, but has gone so far as to beat it to death. The fruit of the Spirit, like the armor of God, had taken on a life of its own. It didn't need its biblical context anymore. It could survive now without its source: the bible. But now it is worn out. But aside from it being overused now, what was its context outside of the bible? It was used as a tool to "teach" the children. It was really used as a tool to TELL the children how to live their lives. So much of the Bible is used in the church today to TELL people how THEY must live their lives. We have completely missed and/or ignored who's fruit it is: the SPIRIT. We do not trust the Spirit, Christ, God. Otherwise, we would not feel this obligation to make sure people are living the "right way." Where is the Spirit? We have lost the Spirit. We have squeezed him out of the equation. We no longer need him. We can live this Christian life on our own strength. We can live this righteous life on our own. We can produce this fruit by ourselves. Is that not the very proud attitude of self that started this whole downward spiral in the beginning? We must preach and teach the Spirit, not the fruit. The biblical context is, "live by the Spirit; walk with the Spirit; keep in step with the Spirit," and then this fruit will be naturally manifested in your life. The context we put the fruit of the Spirit in is one of self-will, self-strength, and self-determination. We say, "this is how you must live, etc...Now do it!" If we would only trust the Spirit we wouldn't feel this need to make sure everyone is living this fruit and righteous life. We push the fruit part of the fruit of the Spirit too much. We must emphasize life in and by the Spirit.
...ney said:
"Where is the Spirit? We have lost the Spirit. We have squeezed him out of the equation. We no longer need him. We can live this Christian life on our own strength. We can live this righteous life on our own. We can produce this fruit by ourselves."
I think this is Scazzero's point though. He is advocating the church embracing a more contemplative spirituality while seeking emotional health.
While I agree with your assessment of the overuse and misuse of the fruits in our churches, I disagree with your conclusion. My experience is that most Christians think they "have" the Holy Spirit, yet their lives are full of junk that would say otherwise. So fruits aren't something to be learned, (yes, they are incorrectly taught that way) they are somthing to be sought. We should be looking for them as evidence the Spirit is working in our lives.
I think that it is useful to say, "I am not experiencing serinity in my life, why not?" You may say, "because you don't have the Spirit!" Well, that may or may not be the case, but it isn't a very helpful insight either way.
Scazzero is arguing that if we aren't dealing with the emotional baggage that life brings we can drown out the still, small voice of the Spirit. Thus the need to practice a more contemplative spirituality to help us deal with our emotional immaturity, not just "spiritual" issues.
I don't think the Spirit is something you are taught so much as an experience. And because we know how deceptive experience can be as an indicator of health, especially spiritual and emotional health, Paul (and Scazzero) offers this list of attributes as a check to a Galatian (and Western) church that assume the presence of the Spirit in their lives. Both authors are saying, "I see this and this going on in your communities, perhaps you have assumed too much. Use these traits to authenticate the experience of the Spirit working in your lives."
I found Scazzero's use of the Fruits (though brief) a very contextual and holistic treatment, and I hope that I approach these Spirit empowered lifestyles with a fresh and earnest humility, and that I leave behind the tired old cynicism that can reflect a pride of having "been there, done that."
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